I am a home wrecker. It’s true. But before you get all upset and vow to never read another word I write, let me explain.

We recently moved into an older rental home in an older neighborhood in Honolulu. Friends and family (and anyone who has asked…and some who haven’t) know that I’m not the biggest fan of this place. I could tell you why, but it really doesn’t matter. It’s just where I am right now. I think God is working on me, but it’s been a rough few months.

When we first looked at the house, I noticed a bird’s nest above one of the windows. The single-wall construction of this home means that every window and door has a sill above it, making a nice ledge for creatures like birds—and geckos—to settle.

I thought the nest was cute. Dare I say, sweet. Always an animal lover, who once tried to nurse a bird back from the edge of death with fresh worms and grass clippings after it flew into an enormous glass window, you could say I’m pro-bird.

I admire nests when they are high in trees, and I sigh sadly when I see them crushed on the ground.

Or I used to.

Then a bird decided it was going to make a nest on one of those nice ledges I mentioned. Problem is, this ledge is directly above my front door. Yep. The only way in and out of my house.

At first, I just swept down the start of the nest thinking that would be that. But let me tell you, this lady is one tough bird. For at least a week, multiple times a day, I swept twigs, straw and leaves off the ledge and off of my porch. Sorry friend. Even when you stare me down from your perch as I lug in bags of groceries, I can tell you, you aren’t winning this battle. There are plenty of other places you can build your home. This one, for the time being, is mine.

So I spent days knocking down half-built nests, wrecking the bird’s home, and even sprayed Febreze up there hoping the weird smell would keep her away. It didn’t.

Now the weird thing is, we were just gone for about a week and a half. We came back and there was of sign up said bird. Not one stick on the steps, not a feather dropped. The Christmas with family had almost erased the home wrecking battle from my mind. Until two days ago.

The bird is back, friends. Yes, it’s cute. Yes, it has a nice song. But really, my front door?

So in the last two or three days I have knocked down that nest at least eight times. Erik even hammered in some nails last night on the side of the house to try to make the ledge less hospitable.

This morning? The bird is back. She just sits there as I take my dog out to pee, unmoving.

Man, this bird is persistent. So I’m not sure what I’m going to do now. As I said, I love animals and birds are great, but I’m not thrilled about the possibility of getting pooped on every time I enter or exit my house.

But nuisances aside, this silly bird—this silly fight—got me thinking. Are there other ways that I am a home wrecker? Something I never thought I would be? Is my complaining and bad attitude wrecking the time we have in this house I’m not crazy about? Am I missing the bigger picture because I’m so focused on what I don’t like?

Do the things I say, think and do wreck what could be a more pleasant growing experience?

I’m pretty sure we all know the answer to that one. And I’m working on it. I really am. Thankfully God is patient and so is Erik. I don’t want to waste this season, so maybe I have to take a cue from this darned bird and be more persistent about making my home here. Maybe I have to fight for it. Maybe I have to repent of the ways I have wrecked it and walk forward asking God to help me be more positive.

Maybe I can learn a lot from this little bird. Maybe you can, too. Maybe you’re a home wrecker and you hadn’t even realized it. Until now.

The good news is, we don’t have to stay there. Hope. Grace. Jesus. That’s what I want to cling to today.